Belly Flopping Back Into Writing and Apparently I need a Niche

Robin Matteri:

I’d like to gracefully dive back in as a writer who shares a unique voice, and a seat at lunch with Oprah; however, I’m belly flopping into content marketing and sharing a seat at lunch with the cool kids at every writing forum I can find.

Originally posted on Perfectly Imperfect & Simply Chaotic Words:

My style of writing is like me —- Scattered. Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that I’m a creative writer who accidentally fell into online content writing in 2006. Prior to learning about assignments, deadlines, and keyword placement, I wrote in my black and white composition book and called it genius. Ok, I know, I know.

I’d like to gracefully dive back in as a writer who shares a unique voice, and a seat at lunch with Oprah; however, I’m belly flopping into content marketing and sharing a seat at lunch with the cool kids at every writing forum I can find.

“One of these days Oprah, one of these days.”

Say what!? A niche?

As an aspiring writer, I am completing applications for content mills as quickly as an email spammer announcing lottery winnings. It’s overwhelming, daunting, frustrating, and exhilarating all in one…

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Hardest Working Broke Chick: Poverty Education

Broke Chick

Poverty has been better than a college education.

Sometimes I wonder…. I can’t understand it, and I’ve said it before— I’m the hardest working broke chick I know. On the flip side-poverty has taught me: website design, visual design, content marketing, networking, WAY more about how GOOGLE operates than I should know, WAY more about nerdy shit then I should know, how to be a pimp and annoy everyone, how to properly index a site, how to rank a blog, how to beat F’book at their own game (just kidding, just kidding, don’t cyberslap me Zuckerburg), how to spam like the brilliant Nigerian, and finally, patience. <—-oh wait, that’s the medication, not poverty.  Not sure if I’d rather have had knowledge or money to pay someone else to do all this…. I’ll let you know the verdict when I’m living large as a “Thousandaire” —-

Anyone Else Publishing on LinkedIn? I Was Eavesdropping One Day And…

English: The post 2005 Taiwan freeway exit sign.

English: The post 2005 Taiwan freeway exit sign. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Ok..A bit of a RANT, on a Monday. I decided to publish a couple “articles/blogs/essays/whatever” at #LinkedIn because I heard (eavesdropped, more like it), that is was good exposure. SOO–I don’t care, I’m going to ask you guys for advice. I don’t get a lot of action here or at G+, (or Facebook! SHOUT OUT to my Mom again!) because I fumble around still. I read and share nearly everything I can (which is time-consuming), and understand it takes time to build “respect” and “a seat at lunch next to the cool kids..”

It’s just a little dumb and I’m sure LinkedIn is going to lure me to stay with the Penthouse Suite, and a free buffet. They don’t care if I leave—number one! Number two—they know I need the networking platform.

YA know why??? Those TWO people who pay attention to me, might matter one day– haha…

I thought this post was pretty good. It was genuine, honest, offered a bit of advice, maybe a little humor. 150 people viewed it, and  +Doreen Martel is the only one to comment. BLESS HER BEAUTIFUL HEART! Although….
Anyway–is this not what to do there? I’d ask around, but it’s hard to fit in…LOL Can I get some advice?

How Facebook Burned Me With Target Advertising

Well played Facebook, and the geniuses who run the marketing department. This advertisement just showed up in my News Feed. Ironic? Hardly. I’ve spent the last few days creating blogs like a machine (no kids this weekend!), and what-do-ya-know? The crickets are back, and my posts are going unnoticed.

I guess I need to get with the program and:

  1. Create Better Blogs For People to “Pretend” to Read
  2. Start Writing During the Week Like Normal People
  3. Wait Until Christmas Eve to Post My Next Masterpiece. 

Right? I mean, it’s only the last week of summer… I can’t be the only loser protecting my skin from cancer by parking it on the couch. Right?

Keep scrolling…I’d like to answer Facebook’s question….

Facebook Burn!

Well Played Facebook and the “target marketing” advertising geniuses!!

Dear Marketing Stalkers at Facebook,

Thanks for the cool ad today, obviously, you all are paying attention to my blog. Whoot! Whoot! And, looks like I’m not the only one working today either—the robots didn’t get the weekend off? Boo!

Anyway, to answer your question:

FACEBOOK: “Tired of Writing Great Articles that Nobody Reads?”

LOSER BLOGGER: “No! I’m not tired of creating hilarious blog posts for my MOM to read. She’s a HUGE fan. Personally, I think I’ll just grab a piece of scented stationary and a pen for the next blog. I’ll whip up some fancy paragraphs littered in calligraphy and send the post directly to her mail box. It’ll be cool.”

GOOD LOOKIN’ OUT FRIENDS! :)

 

Suck it Grammar!

I suck at grammar, so sue me. Since my inception (is that the right word?) into this industry, I’ve been struggling to learn how to properly punctuate a sentence. The only problem? I’m using the term “learn” loosely. The truth is, I’ve been lazy. Editors have picked up the slack for me. I’ve been reprimanded for horrible uses of the comma, the semi-colon, and of course, the exclamation point!

It sucks even more that I claim to be a writer but lack the necessary equipment to qualify as one. I couldn’t be a plumber without a plunger.

Or, could I?

I began writing by accident, and I didn’t think I’d ever make it this far, so I didn’t care too much about brushing up on (or learning, for that matter!) English. I wanted to write words, lyrics, poetry, and creative essays.

To be honest, I didn’t have a fair shot from the get go anyway. I learned nothing in high school about writing, grammar, English, punctuation, or rules. NO JOKE…. I even spent my senior year in HONORS ENGLISH. (That just occurred to me.) I came from a very small farming community— population 1,300 people. Anyway…. it gets better, I promise……

English: penulis = writer

English: penulis = writer (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My high school English teacher called me Sparrow. His play on words did not go over my head.

Sparrow, the species of birds ——> Robin, the species of the birds.

Sparrow Brain ——-> Dense

Hence ———-> Sparrow

He was hilarious, or so he thought, and probably dead now.

I obviously got an inadequate education in anything to do with punctuation, grammar, and the rules of the English language (I already said that), although I’m pretty sure I was taught something. I can’t blame it all on Mr. Griffin. Can I?

English: Pink Pearl eraser from Paper Mate.

English: Pink Pearl eraser from Paper Mate. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

In college (community college, that is!), I scored so low on the English portion of my entry exams, I’m assuming the administration thought I was from Russia, and that English was my second language. I was placed in English 125BCD (or something dumb like that), and remember being shocked at the syllabus. I’m pretty sure we had to study spelling, and how to keep a journal. Once again, NO JOKE, I still have the book, and the only thing I remember from that class was how to annotate as I read. Which to me—considering I was from B.F.E., was the coolest thing I was ever taught.

For the record: I still write in every book I read. “I learned that in college, YO!”

Considering I only lasted three semesters in school, I failed to complete anything beyond the “English for the Lazy” (note: I’m ONLY referring to myself here. Considering there was absolutely NO GOOD reason for me to score so poorly, I can only chalk it up to stubbornness and laziness.

So, today, as I attempt to live as a full-time writer, I understand the perception of my authority is based largely on my ability to SPELL, and PUNCTUATE.

Until recently, I assumed a grammar-editing program was cheating, but apparently, it’s not cheating at all. It’s called being smart!

Have no fear friends with hypothetical red ink pens! I have paid for Grammarly and will no longer bother you with inadequate writing skills (just kidding!).

I write as I speak, rarely use a thesaurus, and become confused with an overload of lessons I’m rushing to learn. I’m developing the curriculum for educating myself, and that, my friends, takes a lot of time.

My freestyle writing days are behind me.

Live well, and comma on! <—— (did I get that right?)

 

Note: This post was checked using the software program. If there is any additional editing required in this piece, please direct your comments to the help desk at Grammarly.

*Post originally posted at Bubblews.com by Robin Matteri*

You’re Not The Boss of Me, These Two Are

The CEO and CFO of “Robin Matteri Writer”

CEO and CFO of ME--My Boys

 

 

 

….. the company doing business as, “Mom!”

 

I may not punch in and out, and do not have hours consistent to you regular folks— ya know, like, Monday to Friday. The wages may be borderline on nothing, but, the fringe benefits are enormous.

Thanks for supporting us by reading my writing…. it’s appreciated by everyone.

My son and I age 10 1293832509587

Ohh.COOL–I Forgot You Guys Can See My Office– Advice from the Boyfriend

…he’s lucky my “imaginary” arm pains were shooting down to the tips of my fingers when he said this:

My bf told me today that I needed to become more active. I was like,

“”Say what!?”

 

Dude has no idea how hard it is to balance a laptop on my thighs (here’s a visual), while sprawled out on the couch trying to create captivating pieces that engage audiences…..

 2978292860043

TOPIC: “Tooth Decay in the Elderly Population: How Bad Can it Really Be?”

 

The activity comes as I rearrange pillows for proper neck support (working the abs better than Billy Banks and ol’ school Tae Bo).

 

So I told him, “Sure thing. I’ll get out and get a little more active as soon as my leg cramps ease up.”

 

Seriously, I need to start stretching.

Belly Flopping Back Into Writing and Apparently I need a Niche

My style of writing is like me —- Scattered. Let’s just say, for the sake of argument, that I’m a creative writer who accidentally fell into online content writing in 2006. Prior to learning about assignments, deadlines, and keyword placement, I wrote in my black and white composition book and called it genius. Ok, I know, I know.

I’d like to gracefully dive back in as a writer who shares a unique voice, and a seat at lunch with Oprah; however, I’m belly flopping into content marketing and sharing a seat at lunch with the cool kids at every writing forum I can find.

“One of these days Oprah, one of these days.”

Say what!? A niche?

As an aspiring writer, I am completing applications for content mills as quickly as an email spammer announcing lottery winnings. It’s overwhelming, daunting, frustrating, and exhilarating all in one. Ultimately, I’d rather write purely from the heart, but I realize, that’s not an option yet. I’m working for companies and individuals that need information pertaining to their niche; my own will have to wait.

Mental Note: Reply to collect three million dollar winnings today (almost forgot!).

I started to write again in April 2014, after a three-year break. I’m actively applying for jobs writing content, in the attempt to generate consistent cash flow. I was once a blogger who was Stalking Donald Miller in my pursuit to find religion after reading the inspirational book, Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. In the middle of that dream, life happened and I was unable to continue so I gave up.

Cover of "Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Th...

Cover via Amazon

In retrospect, I owe a lot to the inspiration of that book. It ultimately transformed my life. I read the book as quickly as I could as was possessed in writing my perspective as it corresponded to each chapter. I (for some odd reason) convinced myself I could blog, and within a week, I had spent enough mornings at Starbucks to kick-off the ol’ God Blog. It is no longer available online but considering it received a maximum of 53 page views in a week, I’m pretty sure it’s safe to bring back to life.

What’s that? Absolutely correct, there’s one niche.

These days as a writer who is solely looking to land enough gigs each month to work from home, I’m hardly concerned with personal styles of creativity, and more focused on fast income.

I am repeatedly asked two questions:

  • What’s your niche?

  • Define your specialities as a writer?

Here’s my answer:

“Dude, I don’t need a niche, I know everything.

What I don’t know, I Google.”

I understand I missed the mark, and I realize that a niche is in my own best interest. I just can’t decide where to spend all my time. Until then, enjoy the ramblings of a creative writer trying to break free of the content world while exploring all the things that could be easily defined as a niche.

UPDATE: Six Months Later

The water is amazing! Come on, jump in. Through the fear, I belly-flopped into an unbelievably fantastic pool of opportunity.

 

The journey in re-discovering the content marketing world has been littered in education. The lessons I’ve learned have helped me finally….FINALLY, narrow down four niche markets I’d like to focus on.

I have some really fun hobbies (in my opinion), and will pass on what I know to others who are searching for information. Look for me soon in the world of writing, poker and selling online vintage. I’m excited to embark on this adventure and look forward to you riding shotgun.